


Wolf Among Men (Yellow)

by Finnoola



Series: The Meaning of Flowers [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alpha!Changbin, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Changbin has a hard time dealing with emotions, Fist Fights, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Swearing, bin calls jisung 'sungie' exclusively in this fic cause I'm saD, bin smokes cause he has terrible coping mechanisms, changbin feels a lot and doesnt know how to process emotions in a healthy way, in this house we swear like sailors, jisungs just a cute fluffy babe, lots of flower meanings, omega!Jisung, particularly yellow flowers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-05 06:54:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18360896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finnoola/pseuds/Finnoola
Summary: 'Yellow'.1. The colour between orange and green on the visible spectrum of light.2. Is the colour most people associate with amusement, gentleness, humour, and spontaneity, but also with duplicity, envy, jealousy, avarice and cowardice...





	Wolf Among Men (Yellow)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first work in this fandom, but not my first work!  
> I love stray kids and I really adore binsung's relationship. They've got such a deep relationship together that I'm surprised there isn't more fics about them. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you like this, comments and kudos are appreciated!

_ Act 1. Yellow Tulips _

 

Changbin's never been a stereotypical alpha.

And ever since he's been a child, Changbin's never been good at holding onto his emotions. Never knowing his emotional boundaries. He's explosive. A ticking time bomb waiting to happen. His instincts are 10 times stronger than the average alpha’s. It was hard for him to get close to people, because he'd get too attached and possessive. He was always a rough child, his play fighting more gritty and  _ bloody _ than most children's.

It’s not like Changbin’s a very angry individual. It’s just he has a lot to make up for the fact he’s not a stereotypical alpha; all the while being an alpha with instincts and emotions ramped up to 10 on the Richter scale. He's learned to cope by turning off every single emotion. It's why he looks slightly pissed off all the time, but in reality is actually a caring, sweet individual. 

For Jisung, it's different. He's a ball of energy. Typical height for an omega, but in no way submissive in nature. Jisung spends his time laughing and smiling, never cowering under an alphas piercing and disapproving gaze, most times. ‘Too much energy’, is what they say. But Jisung doesn't mind, he's got a loving pack and a great best friend. 

He doesn't  _ want _ to be a stereotype. 

 

It starts normal. Like everything does. 

Changbin isn't expecting it, so to speak. He doesn't think too much about how his life was becoming a cliche kdrama trope waiting to happen. He doesn't expect to fall in love with his best friend since they were 12 and 13. He doesn't. 

It's a surprise. A shock, when he realizes that his feelings of protectiveness and affection for his best friend had become romantic in nature. 

Maybe he shouldn't be too surprised, it's hard not to love Han Jisung.

Jisung is just that lovable. For all the times the pack has teased and picked on him, there are even more times the members have showered him in their overflowing affection. 

But is it that easy to be  _ in love _ with Han Jisung? 

No, Changbin doesn't think so. He finds it so hard. Its suffocation in his company. Its daydreams and sleepless nights dedicated to committing the omega's happy smile to memory. Its self control stretched to the very limit in his presence and scraps of notebook paper with lyrics detailing the small delicate intricacies that make Jisung, Jisung. 

He's never felt so lovesick in his whole 20 years of life. Changbin doesn't remember having crushes, hell he didn't even date in high school. Which makes this so much more ironic when he thinks about it. Had he maybe been in love with Jisung since he was 15? Possibly. he doesn't remember ever giving anyone else the same amount of attention he gave the younger boy to anyone else, besides close friends. 

 

Being in the same room with Jisung is enough to set the feral wolf off in his chest. Sitting in close proximity of Jisung in one of the small college studios as they throw lyric and composition ideas around is enough to have that very same wolf rip his insides apart. 

Its negated by the fact that they're not alone and Chan is here as well. But it's still enough incentive for Changbin's mind to spiral out of control. They've been throwing ideas around for about 2 hours now, Jisung getting excited with every verse he writes and rewrites. 

His energy is boundless, even when he needs to be serious. Changbin can't help the fond smile that spreads across his face. He catches Chan’s cheeky grin from across the table and immediately scowls in response. Chan's smile just grows wider, eyes sparkling with mirth at the younger's reaction. 

“I'm hungry.” 

Changbin looks up from his laptop to find Jisung looking between the two older boys with trepidation. Chan hums, checking the time on his phone before sighing. 

“We have been here since 1, I guess some food would do us good.” 

A brilliant smile spreads across Jisung’s face as he gets up from his seat. Changbin shakes his head. 

“Chicken?” He asks, eyes sparkling at the prospect of food. The two other boys nod their assent. 

“Sweet! I'll order it from the place we usually get it, and I'll walk over.” 

Changbin raises his eyebrows. 

“Why don't you get it delivered, Sungie? You don't have to walk over and pick it up.” 

“Its okay, hyung!” Jisung chirps, already throwing his hoodie on, “I need a break anyways.” 

Jisung smiles brightly at Changbin when his head pops through the collar of the hoodie, blonde hair all fluffy and messy. Changbin feels his blood pressure rise upon seeing the omega smile so beautifully at him. 

“Here, take my wallet Jisung-ah, I'll pay for it.” 

Jisung's face brightened up even more upon the prospect of the food being paid for by someone else. 

“Really, hyung?” He asks, already reaching for the proffered wallet in Chan's hands. 

“Yeah, it's not like anyone else bothers to offer.” 

Changbin snorts. “That’s ‘cause you suck at rock, paper, scissors.” 

Chan frowned petulantly, before turning towards Jisung. 

The omega giggled at Changbin's words, a small warmth blooming in the alpha's chest upon making the other laugh. He stomps it down immediately, his hands shaking as he regains control. 

Both alphas smile at Jisung, watching as the boy leaves and the door shuts behind him. There's a tense silence, before Chan speaks. 

“Dude, you're so whipped.”

Changbin sneers, watching as Chan hums happily as he goes back to penning lyrics.

“Like you're any better hyung, you practically shoot hearts outta your eyes whenever Felix is in the room.”

Chan clams up, face blushing red as Changbin mentions his infatuation with one of their friends. 

Felix is Jisung's partner in crime, another omega with a bubbly and overpowering personality. He had come from overseas during Jisung's second last year of high school, and the two had stuck to each other like glue upon first meeting. 

Chan's crush had happened when they introduced the younger to their older friend. He had instantly become smitten with other, while bonding over the fact that they both came from the same country. 

“Whatever, you can't even return Jisung's friendly affections without self destructing,” Chan pursed his lips before continuing, “It's obvious he wants your attention in a non-platonic way. Why don’t you try?”

Changbin huffs, frustration starting to build up quickly, having already gone through this before. 

The truth is, Chan's the only one outside his own family that knows about his ‘issue’. Not even Jisung, his best friend in the whole world, the boy he's so in love with it physically pains him, knows.

He fixes his hat before responding. 

“It's not that simple, hyung. I'm too volatile when it comes to emotions. I might accidentally break his heart, or hurt him. I can barely cope with being in love with him, how am I supposed to be  _ with _ him if I can't even process simple emotions?” 

Chan frowns, upset at seeing his friend so downtrodden. He can't imagine how hard it was when you felt things more intensely than the average person. Coupled with his alpha instincts, it was a recipe for disaster. 

Changbin felt like he had no control over how he was feeling, every emotion was just an abrupt explosion in his chest that threatened to overwhelm him. He forever felt like the same angry 12 year old that punched walls and destroyed pencils in a fit of intense emotions. They didn't even have to be negative emotions, to set him off. It's why he was so afraid, so reluctant to expose his feelings to Jisung. 

“Its better I said nothing,” Changbin says, smiling ruefully at his computer screen, “I'll die loving him, in order to keep him safe from myself, if I have to.” 

It's quiet, Chan digesting the words his friend had said so easily. 

“But what if that's not what he wants?” 

A heavy silence hangs over the two.

“I’m back! And look who I found!”

Jisung enters the room with a flourish, plastic bags hanging off his arms. Trailing behind him is Felix, eyes bright and cheeks flushed. 

Chan straightens up upon seeing the younger Australian, leg shaking erratically. Changbin stares at Chan unbelievingly, before shaking his head and greeting Felix. 

“Hey, Felix.”

“Hi hyung, you guys working on a song?” The omega pulls another chair over and sits right in between Chan and Jisung at the corner of the table. 

Chan flushes at the close proximity, pen tapping against the table. 

“Hey, ‘Lix.” Chan breathes out, watching as Felix smiles at him. 

“Hey Channie-hyung.” 

Jisung and Changbin share a look, both watching as their friends stared at each other. 

“Who wants chicken!” Jisung yells suddenly, unwrapping the boxes from the bags and displacing the two from their lovestruck daze. 

The pair startles, both of their faces turning red in embarrassment. 

The group easily falls into routine after, talking and teasing each other with ease. Changbin doesn't say much, just watches. His eyes always end up on Jisung. He can't help it, god knows he's tried. But Jisung has him hung up on him like a fool. And the wolf inside him rages, desperate to be let out, desperate to love.

 

Its raining. Water droplets pounding against the asphalt with a vengeance. Changbin runs through the downpour, hood pulled up. He's late to a friendly get together the pack had planned. The alpha is soaked, and he knows he's gonna get an earful from Chan for not asking for a ride. 

But he had things to be done, verses to be tweaked, and compositions to be perfected. It's why he stayed back at the studio, instead of coming with Chan in the first place. It's why he's a little surprised when he reaches Woojin’s apartment and he's met with a disgruntled looking Jisung, instead of a disappointed Chan. 

Changbin blinks when he enters the apartment and Jisung is standing right there.

The omega is standing by the door, away from the probable chaos happening in the living room. His arms are crossed, hoodie sleeves too long and covering his hands. His cheeks protrude, making him look more sulky than angry. 

Changbin lowers his hood, staring quizzically at the younger. He pushes his wet hair back before toeing off his soaked boots. 

“Hey,” He says softly, eyebrows furrowing as he watches the frown on Jisung's face deepen. “What's up Sungie?” 

He's shocked when a sleeve-covered hand comes out and whaps him on the chest. 

“Jisung what the-”

The omega continues to hit the other, soft hits against his upper body. He flinches, arms coming up to cover his head as a bemused smile makes its way across his face. Changbin is finally able to maneuver away from the omega and his barrage. 

Jisung stops, arms hanging by his sides. “Why are you smiling, you ass.”

He pouts as he says it, heart shaped lips protruding. 

Changbin chuckles, before reaching up and messing up the others hair. “You're cute, that's why.” 

It may be a trick of the light, but Changbin swears Jisung's cheeks turn a brilliant pink, eyes flitting around embarrassedly. 

“Hyung! Stop!” He whines. “I'm trying to be mad at you and you're not helping.” 

“Why're you mad, Sung?”

Jisung narrows his eyes at him. “I'm mad because you decided to walk in the rain and stay back at the studio instead of just coming with Chan-hyung earlier.” 

The younger boy gestures at his clothes, “You're soaking wet now.” 

“I'm fine, Sungie, I ran here, it's not that bad. So can you please stop pouting now?” 

Jisung makes an affronted noise before turning and walking away. 

“I'm not pouting.” He hears as the other stomps away. Changbin laughs, watching the other disappear into the living room. 

He shakes his head, before stripping off his wet jacket and hanging it amongst the others on the coat rack. When he turns around, Minho is staring at him, the beta's gaze hard and accusing. Changbin stares back, not unnerved by the others odd behaviour. 

Minho finally looks away, going back into the apartment. He's been like that for awhile, and Changbin most likely knows why. It's hard not to when almost everyone in the pack gives him the same tired and disapproving look. But they don't understand, can't understand how hard it is to be in control of something that feels so much bigger than anything else. Changbin knows they mean well, fuck they're his pack for Christ sakes. 

But Changbin's been doing this alone since he was a kid, all bloody knuckles, painful headaches and aching screams. It's hard to understand when you barely understand it yourself. 

He's welcomed into the room with loud cheers of ‘You're late!’ and ‘Hyung, you look like a wet dog!’. The last sentence is met with Changbin grabbing both Hyungjin and Jeongin into a playful headlock. Both betas cry out, jokingly slapping at the arms around both their necks. 

“Hyung, I give, I give!” Hyungjin hollers, going limp in Changbin's hold. 

Jeongin continues to struggle, but is unfortunately no match for an alpha's strength. He shrieks when he's finally let go, pitching forward off the couch. Hyungjin lands on the floor with him, both boys breathless and giggling up at the older. 

Changbin leans over the back of the couch. “It's what you get, you punks.”

“Jeez, you're soaked, Bin,” Chan chides from where he's got Felix snuggled up against him. The pack leader gives him a worried look, but Changbin waves him off. 

“It's just water, hyung, it'll dry.” 

Chan still gives him a pensive look, bottom lip worrying between his teeth. 

Chan's a good leader, and an even better friend. He's the perfect choice for pack leader, and nobody disagrees. He's the one who brought them all together when they were teens, just a bunch of stray kids, all a little lost and looking for a place to belong. Changbin knows everyone is thankful for Chan, god knows where they’d all be if it wasn't for him. 

The rest of the night passes by smoothly, the 9 boys settling in for a movie marathon. The movie genre of choice is horror, and while Changbin doesn’t mind the genre, he’s grateful for the sight of Jisung snuggling up next to him. Jisung spends the entirety of the first movie jumping at every little sound, and when Felix gets up to go to the bathroom, almost throttles the other omega for sneaking up behind him on the couch at a jumpscare. After three grisly movies, everyone slowly starts to make their way back to their apartments and dorms. 

Changbin, thankfully, is roommates with Chan. As per regulation on campus dorms, only the same status could room with the other. He was going with Chan, who offered Jisung and Felix, a ride back to the dorm, until he realized he left his own  _ phone _ back at the studio.

“Ah, shit.” 

“What’s up hyung?” Felix asks from up front. The group stops in the parking lot as Changbin rummages around in his pockets. He huffs when he can’t find his phone. 

“I left my phone back at the studio,” Changbin sighed, shaking his head, “You guys go on ahead, I’ll walk back its fine.”

“Changbin,” Chan starts, ready to cajole the other alpha into the car with them. 

“No, it’s fine hyung, I’ll see ya when I get home.” Changbin is already walking back in the direction of the studio. He starts off in a light jog, ignoring the sounds of his name being called. He slows down into a brisk walk, taking in the cool air left by the earlier rainfall.

“Changbin-ah.”

He stops. Turning around, he sees Minho. 

“Hyung,” Changbin says confused. Looking around he doesn’t see any of the others with him, “What’s up?” 

“Why don’t you just tell him?”

Changbin blinks, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up as he hears the edge in Minho’s voice. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Cut the crap Changbin, you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Minho stares at Changbin angrily, eyes flashing amber as if to taunt the younger alpha. 

“Why do you keep leading Jisung on if you’re not going to confess? Don’t you know you’re only hurting him in the end?” 

“I know-”

“No, you don’t know!” Minho snaps. “You look at him like the sun comes out of his ass and you shower him in praise but as soon as he shows you an inkling of something other than friendly affection you shut him down, and yourself down.”

“Hyung, shut up.” He grits out, teeth clenched hard. 

“No, I’m not gonna shut up,” Minho hisses back. He’s furious, wondering why Changbin won’t confess when they both feel the same. Why he’s only making more pain for the both of them. 

Changbin is breathing heavily now, his blood feels white hot, running through his veins like molten lava, threatening to burst from his very body like an eruption. Minho’s voice is tinny, like he’s talking to him at the end of a tunnel. His fists are curled tightly at his sides, his nails digging into the soft skin and breaking it. He can feel the blood drip from his skin, slicking up his palms. 

“If you’re not gonna do anything about how you feel, than I’ll let you know that sooner or later, someone better than you is gonna show up and-”

“Shut. The. Fuck. UP!” Changbin yells. His body reverberates with the force of his yell, bones trembling and muscles tensing. 

Minho stops, shocked at the burst of anger from his normally cool dongsaeng. He blinks watching as Changbin suddenly switches from ballistic to blank in just a few seconds. 

“I know, hyung, but I can’t.” Changbin chokes out, throat constricting with the need to yell and scream. He’s not staring at Minho, but he can tell the other is still there from his presence. 

“You’re a coward, Seo Changbin.”

Changbin’s breath hitches, the barriers up in his head trembling with the force of keeping them up. He waits until he hears Minho’s steps completely fade away before his arm thrusts out and makes contact with the wall beside him. The sickening thwack his fist makes when it collides with the brick only spurs him on. He turns on his heel and reels his other fist back and watches as it hits the wall as well. He does it another time, and another. 

Again.

And again. 

And again.

It’s only when his knuckles are bloody and bruised that he stops, tears falling down his cheeks as he struggles to regain control on the whirlwind of emotions that always stirs up. He sniffs, before resuming his walk to the studio, leaving a trail of blood in his wake.    

  
  
  


_ Act 2. Yellow Hyacinths _

 

It’s his first day of middle school, and his knuckles are already wet with blood. Changbin walks home, fists clenched at his sides and breathing surprisingly slow. He stops at a street corner, a convenience store perched there. He walks in heading for the drinks. Changbin stops in front of the water, his throat parched from all the screaming he’d done minutes prior.

“Uh, are you okay?” 

Changbin’s arms stops from pulling on the door to the cooler. He looks to his right and sees a boy with floppy black hair staring at him. It takes Changbin a few seconds to realize that he’s not staring at  _ him _ per se, but at his bloody knuckles gripping the cooler handle. Changbin blinks when the other makes eye contact with him, concern painted in his eyes. 

“Yeah…’m fine.” He mumbles, suddenly embarrassed to have someone other than his mother look at him with such worry for his bruised hands. 

The boy gives him a dubious look, before turning around and walking away. 

“Wait there.” He calls behind him, leaving Changbin dumbfounded in his spot in front of the cooler. He stands there dumbly, before opening the cooler door and grabbing his water. He shuffles his feet unsure if he should just pay and leave, but is interrupted from his thoughts when the boy comes back.

He’s carrying an assortment of what looks like medical supplies in his arms. Bandages, gauze, antiseptic, you name it. The boy smiles at him, a heart shaped little thing that makes something unknowingly small start to bloom in Changbin’s chest. 

That’s how he meets Han Jisung. 

After they had paid for their stuff, Jisung had him dragged to the park nearby and sat the older boy on bench. He then patched up Changbin’s hands with lots of questions. Not willing to tell a strange boy about his explosive emotions, he lied and said he had gotten into a little fight with a few alphas who had called him short. Jisung had laughed, saying it was such a silly thing to fight over, considering they were still growing. 

Changbin had spent as long as he could talking to the other boy that day until they both had to part for home. 

It shouldn’t have been a surprise that when Changbin made his way back to the park the next day, Jisung was there, gently swinging back and forth on a swing, waiting, for him. 

 

Changbin wakes up with a start, his mind reeling from the dream-memory he just had. He sits up in his bed, rubbing his hands down his face. He stops, looking at his hands when he notices the dried blood encrusted and caked onto his fingernails and skin. The alpha winces when he tries to curl his hand into a fist, the skin protesting and ripping apart, bleeding again. 

“Fuck.”

He rolls out of bed, the digital clock beside his bed blinking 9:34 at him mockingly. He strolls past the bathroom. Heading straight for the sink he turns it on and reaches for a glass from the dish rack. As he waits for the water to cool, he suddenly feels the urge to turn around. Changbin turns around, eyes focusing on the living room which looks exactly how it did yesterday, except for the puff of blonde hair peeking above the couch.

“Jisung?” Changbin says blearily. Said boy jumps, hand over his heart before turning around on the couch to look over at the older. He smiles when he meets Changbin’s gaze, the tap running forgotten in the background. 

“Hiya hyung!” Jisung chirps, eyes bright and wide. “I came over because I thought we could go out and get breakfast together, Chan let me in, by the way. He’s got class early.” 

Changbin nods slowly, his newly awakened brain processing the information sluggishly. He turns around back to the sink to fill his glass with water when he hears a sharp gasp behind him. 

“Bin-hyung! What the fuck happened to your hands?!” 

Right, he forgot about that. Changbin drinks from the glass nonchalantly, trying not to aggravate the omega any further. Jisung huffs before getting up from the couch and running to the bathroom. Changbin watches him, suddenly struck with deja vu. 

Jisung returns with the medical kit Chan has stashed under the bathroom sink, bottom lip worrying between his teeth. He gestures for Changbin to sit on the couch, who obliges easily. Jisung takes out the bandages and the ointment like he’s done a hundred times before. He doesn’t ask questions anymore, Changbin won’t tell him. For as long as Jisung has known him, he’s never known why Changbin sometimes came home with bloody knuckles. He knew it wasn’t just fights. But his hyung would never tell him why. 

He gently wipes away the blood and grime on his hands, turning his hand over to get the marks embedded in his palm. He does the same to the other hand, cleaning and washing it. 

Changbin watches him all the while, heart caught in his throat as Jisung takes such tender care of his gashes and bruises. He’s got a concentrated look on his face, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he finishes tying up the bandages. A proud looks pops up on his face when he’s done. He finishes off by dropping a kiss on the knuckles of both hands, the soft skin of his lips burning through the layers of fabric wrapped around Changbin’s hands. Changbin tries not to startle, tries not to pull the other up to meet his lips, to finally feel them against his own. 

He grunts, making to stand as Jisung stares up at him. 

“Thank you, Sung.” 

The dejected look on Jisung’s face vanishes within seconds, a smile now replacing the frown marring his face. Changbin doesn’t see the change in emotions across Jisung’s face, too busy trying to tame the wolf howling in his chest. 

“I’m gonna go get dressed, than we can get breakfast at that cafe you like.”

Jisung nods, “Okay hyung.”

“Okay.” Changbin says back, before disappearing down the hall into his room. 

 

Changbin feels the wolf in his chest growl and snarl, the beast unkept and untameable. He’s staring, he’s knows this, but he can’t seem to turn away. He’s not sure why his stomach twists uncomfortably when Minho slings his arm around Jisung’s shoulders, the omega leaning in to the touch. 

It’s been a month since Minho confronted him. A month since he punched a wall until his fists bled and weeped. A month since Jisung took such good care of his wounds. A month, since he felt the ghost of the omega’s lips on his bruised, bandaged knuckles. 

Since then, it seems the older beta has taken to aggravating the younger alpha. Maybe possibly to incite a reaction out of him, get him to confess. But it’s going all wrong. Changbin doesn’t really  _ care  _ about Minho, he cares about Jisung who thrives under the other’s attention. 

“Dude,” Chan whispers, nudging him in the side. 

“What?” He snaps. Teeth bared and muscles tensing. Chan gives him a warning look, which causes Changbin to reluctantly back down. 

“You broke your pen, are you sure you’re okay?” 

Changbin looks down and then swears, watching as the pieces of the pen fall onto the table as he unclenches his hand. Ink stains the inside of his palm like a black inkblot. 

“Ah fuck,” He swears again, standing up and looking at his hand in annoyance. 

“Are you okay hyung?” Sweet, but childish Jeongin asks, watching as the older swears some more. 

Changbin makes sure he looks at who he’s talking to, toning down his anger and trying to voice a pleasant assurance to the youngest.

“Yeah, it’s fine Jeongin-ah, I just, broke my pen.” 

Jeongin nods, before trying to fend off Seungmin’s teasing fingers at his cheeks. 

“I’ll go wash up.” He grumbles to Chan before walking out of the studio. He walks briskly to the washroom, hands, once again, clenched at his sides. Changbin throws himself against the door violently, throwing on the tap as he scrubs the ink off his skin. He’s too busy aggressively washing the ink from his hand that he doesn’t hear the door to the washroom open. 

“Hyung?”

He jolts, hitting his hand on the faucet. 

“Shit!” 

He turns around to see Jisung standing there worriedly, hands bunched into the hem of his hoodie. 

“‘M fine.” He mumbles, not wanting to lash out at the person he loved. Jisung looks at him pensively, before nodding. 

“Okay. We’re all going out for dinner now, you coming?” 

Changbin should say no, he should, but something inside tells  _ him _ no. 

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

He gives a small smile to the other who returns it with ease. Jisung walks up to the other, hand reaching for his arm. 

“Let’s go?”

Changbin nods. They head out of the washroom together.

 

Changbin leans his head back, smoke blowing from his lips. Smoking, it was a habit he’d picked up later in high school, another, detrimental way to curb his emotional outbursts. The nicotine was soothing, and he knew how bad it was, but couldn’t stop, not when it was one of the only things keeping him in control. 

He had excused himself for a smoke break about 10 minutes ago. Changbin had gone through a cigarette, already, trying to stamp down his angry wolf. It felt childish, and immature, but he couldn't stop the overflowing bitter rage that flooded his body. Minho was his hyung, his friend. And yet, he felt the overwhelming urge to rip him away from Jisung. 

It was laughable, he knew he had no claim over the younger, and he was free to hang out with whomever he wanted. But Changbin was selfish, and a child still at 20 years old. Young and stupid, the emotions were too much this time and he left. 

Its why he was out here sulking now, instead of facing his problems and emotions like an adult. But that was the problem, wasn't it? What did it mean to be an adult? What did that entail? And honestly, Changbin was sure everyone was making it up as they went along.

He takes another drag from the cigarette, slightly acidic. Exhaling, he stomps the cigarette out on the ground. He goes back inside.

 

It’s his fault it happened like this. He should’ve known, he should’ve stopped. If only he hadn’t held onto it like an idiot, maybe he could’ve stopped it, from going bad, to worse. 

“Shit-” He chokes out, arms covering his head as he's curled into a ball. He hadn't meant it, so why'd he say it? How could he say that? He knew he was sensitive about that. He  _ knew _ . 

He sobs into his knees, broken choked off whimpers as he regrets the previous few moments.

 

It had reached the boiling point, something that Changbin knew would happen. Although he wasn't quite sure  _ who _ he'd explode on. He just never imagined it'd be him. 

The pack had gone out for dinner, all nine of them squished into the biggest booth they had at the restaurant. Changbin was at the end of the bench, Jisung sandwiched between himself and Minho. He'd never felt so lonely in his entire life. Minho had done everything in his power to steal Jisung's attention from him. 

They were sickening, making the bile rise up in the back of his throat as he tried to eat. He knew he was being silly, Minho wasn't doing this on purpose. But he felt that every time he tried to open his mouth, Minho was quicker. Changbin was projecting, forcing the evil on someone other than himself just to ease the burden. But the real villain here was him. 

It was near the end of dinner that Changbin broke. He had startled the whole table when he got up suddenly without a word. Ignoring the concerned questions from his packmates, he fled.

He wasn't sure how far he'd walked, didn't know anyone was following him at the time, either. Changbin was choking, drowning in the emotions that rocked him off balance. 

When he finally stopped, he was in a park. He stood in the middle of the walkway, body shuddering and shaking as he tried to control himself. He would not break, he would not cry, he would not burst, he would not scream, he would not-

“Hyung! Changbin hyung, what's wrong?” 

Changbin hiccuped, breath shaky as he recognized the voice behind him. 

It was Jisung. 

No, he couldn't be here. If Jisung was here he'd ruin it all and his worst fears would come true. 

“Sungie, go back, I-I'm fine.” 

He could feel the control slipping from him as Jisung walked closer. 

“What? Hyung, no! What's wrong? Why're you so upset? Is it something I did? Are you fighting with-” 

“Shut up!” He yelled. Jisung jumped. Terrified at the anger barely held in his hyung's voice. 

“Shut up, shut up, will you-will you just leave me alone, Jesus Christ! You're always asking me if I'm okay, well here, Sung, I'm not okay? Alright? I'm fucked in the head and I feel like a child everytime this fucking thing won't cooperate!” 

He grabbed at his chest, right where his heart was. 

“Hyung,” Jisung whispered, eyes glassy as he watched him break down, “Let me help you, its okay, really, I-”

“No! No it's not okay for fucks sake I don't need anyone's help. You're all so fucking annoying and all over me like some invalid when I just want some peace and quiet!” 

He turned around when he said the last sentence, locking eyes with Jisung. The younger's breath hitched when he made contact with Changbin's blood red eyes. 

“Ah, I'm sorry.” Jisung said with a sniffle, tears already falling down his cheeks in rivulets. “I'm pretty annoying aren't I?” 

Changbin's anger evaporated in seconds as he watched the omega sob. 

“Shit, no, Sungie, that's not-that's not what I meant, you're not annoying I-” 

Jisung shook his head. He sniffed again, rubbing his sleeve over his eyes. “Its okay, hyung, I know what you meant.” 

Changbin felt tears roll down his face as Jisung's face crumpled and he started to sob even harder. The alpha made to reach out, but Jisung shook his head violently, almost curling in on himself. 

“Stop-hyung, just, stop.” 

So he ran. Changbin ran and ran, as far away as he could from the mess he made until he couldn't run anymore. He found himself in a dirty old alleyway, on his hands and knees sobbing. 

“I'm sorry Jisung, I'm so sorry-hyung didn't mean it, god I didn't mean it, fuck!” 

He didn't come home that night.

 

_ Act 3. Yellow Chrysanthemums _

 

He hasn't talked to Jisung in a week, fuck, he hasn't  _ seen _ the other since then. Changbin's a mess the first few days. And then all of the sudden he's the most emotionless he's been since, ever. He goes through the motions, like a clockwork doll. He barely eats, barely sleeps and holes himself up in one of the college music studios, diligently working on assignments and personal projects. Anything to get away from the guilt eating away at his stomach.

How could he say those things? How could he take it out on the one person who probably understood him the most? It was a shitty thing he’d done, something he regretted every moment he was awake. It was why he hated sleeping now, because everytime he closed his eyes, all he saw was Jisung’s tear stained face staring right back at him. In the end, he ended up being like every other alpha and beta that had crossed paths with Jisung.

 

Usually, presentation of rank happened around 13 and 14, so it was obvious how Changbin wouldn’t see what had happened when Jisung presented as an omega.

Changbin doesn’t find out, not until Jisung and him are in the same school. He’s a second year in high school, Jisung, a first year. They had gone to different middle schools, always hanging out after school and on off-days. 

It’s only the first week, and while they’re both in different grades, Jisung always comes to find him during breaks and lunch. So when it doesn’t happen the following week on Monday, Changbin becomes suspicious. He goes looking for Jisung, trying to find the happy blonde boy. 

He makes his way down to the first year classes, watching as the younger kids, ranked and unranked scurry out of his way. An older alpha on the younger floors was a sight, and it was why no one dared to lie to him about Jisung’s whereabouts when he asked. 

It’s how he found the other surrounded by alphas and betas in his class, all hurling insults and shoving him around because he wasn’t like ‘regular’ omegas. Jisung was bright, happy, rambunctious, and a jokester. He was sunshine personified and Changbin would be damned if the younger boy didn’t know that. 

So when he saw the boys crowding him and calling him ‘loud’, ‘mouthy’, and ‘annoying’, he snapped. He walked up to the first alpha and punched him square in the nose. The other’s had been shocked, to say the least, but didn’t put up much of a fight when they saw the second year stand protectively in front of Jisung. They ran away, metaphorical tails held between their legs. 

Even back then he couldn’t stand the sight of teary eyed Jisung, it physically hurt him to see Jisung like that. It didn’t take long for the whole school to know that bullying the omega from class 1C was a death sentence. Changbin could count the number of times he’d broken someone’s nose because they got a little cocky. 

But in the end he had hurt Jisung, just like those other alphas and betas had, by calling him annoying, and implying that he talked too much. And as he stared at the stars from atop the dormitory roof, cigarette in hand, he promised to never hurt Jisung, never again. 

 

“It’s been a month.” 

Changbin doesn’t look up from the mixer, too focused on fixing the one chord that was pissing him off. 

“Changbin!” Chan yells, hands slamming atop the table behind him. 

“Fuck-hyung, I know just let it go!” Changbin says frustratedly. He spins around on the desk chair and faces Chan whose standing there, eyes dark.

“Changbin, ignoring him isn’t going to make  _ it _ go away, or fix the problem. You have to own up to your mistakes, apologize to him, and then  _ tell him _ .”

Changbin has his head in his hands as he listens to Chan. It’s the hundredth time he’s heard these words, all in different forms, different words and sentences. Yet, they’re starting to make sense to him right now. He drops his hands and looks at the floor. He hates how right Chan is. He hates how even after a fight and a month of not seeing Jisung, he still loves him. 

Changbin should know better than anyone else how hard it was to make emotions go away. They didn’t go away just like that. They took time, lots of time. Some people could let go easier than others, but being in love? That was hard to let go of. 

And being in love with Han Jisung was something he was not ready to let go of.

He sighs, running his hands through his hair in defeat. Changbin looks up at Chan and nods, watching as a satisfied smile appears on the other’s face. 

“Good, ‘cause I asked him to come over right now.” 

Changbin pales, before cussing Chan out. 

“You piece of shit, what the fuck-” He stands up from the chair and starts to pace.

“When’s he coming?” Changbin asks, rubbing his sweaty palm on his jeans. 

Chan looks at his phone to check and squints. “He said in few minutes but that was 10 minutes ago...” 

Changbin feels his heart stop. The ground feels as if its falling out from under him. He looks up at Chan and then looks at the door. 

He runs. 

It’s not too far off that another incident would happen, especially in college. Most were trying to just get by, others, well, were just plain assholes. 

Changbin runs along the route Jisung would take from the dorm to the studio, pausing at every corner and alcove to look for him. It doesn’t take long to find him, he’s surrounded by a group of 6 alpha and betas. Jisung is already on the ground curled up into a ball, shivering. The sight makes Changbin go ballistic, and he doesn’t he stop to think when he rams into the first person. 

There’s a shocked yelp from Jisung as Changbin sends one of them to the ground hard. The group stares shocked before mobilizing and going after the short alpha. Changbin’s had years of experience in street fights, it’s why he’s able to out maneuver six guys bigger than him and punch their faces in. 

One guy tries to get him from behind but Changbin’s quicker. He knees the other in the stomach before ramming his elbow into his back. His size also helps too, the remaining alphas are like bumbling idiots, unaware that the bigger they are, the harder they fall. 

Changbin’s sinking so far into the bloodlust that even when the last guy is down, he keeps punching him. His hands are slick with the other’s blood, the alphas face crushed from the punches thrown in quick succession by an enraged Changbin.  

The only things that stops him his the choked whimper that comes from Jisung’s direction. 

“H-hyung..” 

Changbin stops as if entranced, turning to the shaking form of the omega huddled against the wall. 

“Sungie…” He breathes, hands uncurling and letting the other guy drop from his grip. Jisung sobs again, arms weakly reaching out for the other who dives into the embrace. Changbin cradles Jisung in his arms, gently rocking the other back and forth. Jisung sniffles and sobs into Changbin’s shirt and jacket, tears staining the fabric. It takes a minute for Changbin to realize that Jisung is trying to say something to him, but he’s hiccuping and crying too hard for him to speak properly. 

“Shhh, its okay, Sungie, hyung’s here.” 

He cradles the the back of the others head and that’s when he hears Jisung say those heart breaking words, “I-I thought, I thought you wouldn't come for me. I thought, that-that you hated me, and that you got tired of me always trying t-trying-”

Changbin shushes him again, heart shattering into microscopic pieces in his chest as Jisung blubbers, sobbing even harder, now. He’s not making any sense, but Changbin knows, he knows what Jisung is saying without even having to hear him. 

They report the group that harassed Jisung. Changbin gets a warning, that fighting is prohibited but since he was protecting Jisung, a slap on the wrist is all he gets. He holds Jisung’s hand the whole time, even when he’s telling campus security about what happened. Changbin doesn’t leave his side, making up for the time he lost while brooding and avoiding the other.  

Its comical, when Chan suggests that Jisung go back to his dorm with Felix, and Changbin doesn’t let go of his hand. He’s quite a sight to behold, shirt ripped and blood stained. Changbin’s got a busted lip from where one of them had caught him by surprise. As well as a cut across his cheek from one of the other guy’s many rings. Next to Jisung, who’s wearing a big pink sweater and blue jeans, he looks out of place. 

Jisung just smiles, and says he’ll go back with Changbin. His cheeks feel hot when the other’s start hollering and whistling, even Chan has a cheeky grin on his face. Changbin yells at the group to stop, barely looking any of them in the eye as Jisung holds his hand tighter. 

Changbin eventually starts pulling Jisung in the direction of his own dorm, rolling his eyes as the rest of the pack keeps yelling and screaming at the pair. Jisung just giggles, happily swinging their conjoined hands. The younger skips beside Changbin, his usual bouncy and happy-go-lucky personality resurfacing. And when Jisung smiles at him and grips his hand, Changbin smiles and grips his hand back. 

 

_ Act 4. Yellow Ranunculus _

 

Changbin takes Jisung back to the dorm that day. He’s flustered, unable to look Jisung in the eye who smiles so wide at the other’s embarrassment. When they reach the dorm, Changbin rummages in his coat pockets for his keys with one hand. He’s unwilling to let go of Jisung’s hand even for a second. Changbin finally unlocks the door with one hand and enters, towing a giggling Jisung behind him. 

They finally let each other’s hands go, Jisung going straight for the med kit to patch up Changbin. The other strolls over to the sofa and flops down, exhaustion seeping into his bones. He closes his eyes for a few moments, only to reopen them when Jisung comes back into the living room, med kit in hand. He kneels in front of the alpha who lets his scratches and bruises get looked at.

Its serene, the sort of atmosphere they have around them now. It’s like the past month didn’t happen, as if they never fought. Jisung stares fixedly at Changbin’s hands while he works on them. When he’s done he looks up to find the alpha already staring at him. 

Jisung’s breath catches in his throat, cheeks reddening as he looks into the other’s eyes and finds such deep emotion there. He brings a hand up to cup Changbin’s jaw, thumb brushing over the the little cut on his lip. Changbin just stares back, eyes never leaving the other’s. The younger leans up onto his knees, hand holding one of Changbin’s own. 

He exhales heavily before flicking his eyes away. He doesn’t look at Changbin for a few seconds, but then his eyes are back with a bright determination in them. The omega leans in, soft lips connecting with the other’s cheek. 

Changbin breathes shakily, his other hand coming up to rest on Jisung’s waist. He closes his eyes at the contact, practically melting at the gesture from the omega. 

When Jisung pulls back, he stares at the other with worry in his eyes. He hopes Changbin won’t brush it off, hopes Changbin won’t run away, like he’s done before. 

Jisung gets his answer when Changbin opens his eyes, and a bright smile spreads across his face. 

He smiles back. 

 

The mending of their relationship starts off slow. 

Like after most fights, apologies are in order. Changbin apologizes to Jisung the next day until the words start to become foreign to him. Jisung sits and giggles all the while, reassuring Changbin after the first few times that he’s forgiven. 

And then he tells him. 

Changbin tells Jisung how his instincts crackle and burn like a wildfire and his emotions consume him until nothing is left. Until he’s a burnt shell, lost and wandering. 

Jisung listens attentively to all that Changbin says, and when the older is done, smiles softly and takes his hand. The small comforting gesture tells Changbin everything he needs to know. Telling Jisung is like breathing in a breath of fresh air. 

Being near him again, well, Changbin still has a lot to learn.

He’s getting better though, reciprocating Jisung’s playful advances with his own shy ones. They’re not together, though. Even though the majority of the pack rolls their eyes whenever Jisung does something cute and Changbin stares at him, whipped for the younger boy. 

Chan asks him, while he leaving the dorm for a ‘not date’ with Jisung. 

“So,” Chan starts, not looking up from his laptop as he types on the couch. 

Changbin looks up from tying his shoes to look at the older male. 

“Are you, are you and Jisung together yet, because honestly, you guys act like you're married already.” 

Changbin stammers for bit, trying to string a sentence together but failing miserably. 

“I-I don’t know, hyung. I’m not sure if Jisung wants that yet…”

There’s a snap, as Chan closes the lid on the laptop. He looks at Changbin from over the back of the couch with an incredulous look. 

“Mate, you are fucking blind if you think Jisung doesn’t want you to ask him to be your boyfriend. He’s practically been spelling it out for the past 2, 3 weeks now?” 

Changbin hums, looking down thoughtfully before a small smile appears on his face. 

He nods, “Thanks Chan-hyung.” 

Chan nods approvingly. “You’re welcome, and don’t come back if I don’t get a text from Felix saying that you asked Jisung out because you know they tell each other everything, now go!”

Changbin leaves with a smile on his face. He needs something before he meets Jisung, so he takes a little detour on the way to their meeting place. 

 

Jisung leans against the brick wall, absentmindedly playing around on his phone as he waits for Changbin. He’s looking at his instagram feed when something yellow obstructs his vision. He blinks, pulling back a bit and seeing a bouquet of yellow flowers being presented to him by Changbin. 

The omega takes the bouquet from the other who looks at him nervously. He smiles when he recognizes the type of flower finally and pulls the other into a hug. Changbin sighs in relief as he holds Jisung, a happy smile on his face. 

When they pull apart finally, Changbin asks him. 

“Han Jisung, will you be my boyfriend?”

Jisung smiles widely, small giggles erupting from his mouth. He nods his head rapidly before leaning in and pecking the other on the mouth. Changbin startles, before regaining his senses and leaning in. 

Changbin kisses Jisung sweetly, and the yellow flowers finally bloom happily. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this fic, I had fun writing it and I'll be sure to write more binsung in the future!  
> Come talk to me if you'd like on twitter @antisockmonkey!


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